Cruising has a touch of the surreal. It takes cocooning to a watery extreme. Travelling in Asia, I have felt simultaneously distanced and relieved to slip into the hotel’s air-conditioning and pool after battling the streets for a day. Cruising means you almost never leave the hotel. And this floating hotel is vast, luxurious and indulgent beyond our expectation or experience.
The food, service, lounges and pool areas are fantastic. We have enjoyed some of the best wines and meals in memory. Seriously. Our suite is just that - a large lounge with flat screen TV, bose sound, complimentary mini-bar, fresh fruit, king bed with walk-in robe, mood lighting, laundry, dry-cleaning and turn-down, abundant hanging space, desk, more flat-screen, floor-to-ceiling glass looking out over the bow, marble bathroom with bath, multi-directional shower, twin basins, fine cotton towels and sheets, wood panelling, quality carpets and drapes, pillow menu, delightful concierge and butler, evening shows (that are not West End, but are clap-hard good) and a yacht club lounge that provides 24/7 cocktails, delicacies and coffee.
The level of staffing and attentiveness are extraordinary. We are escorted around the boat by our tuxedoed butler. Our room is cleaned and made up perhaps four times a day - whenever we leave, it is miraculously returned to pristine condition.
The private lounge and pool area are vast, opulent and quiet. I could go on, but you get the picture. See Matt's onboard video for his take on the ship.
The boat is unbelievably big. None of us get used to it’s size - it dominates ports, skylines and harbours. It is breath-taking to approach.
Inside, there are five storey atria, crystal staircases, a large casino, spa in the ‘hot-rocks, exotic muds and eternal youth’ sense, pools galore and perhaps ten restaurants. There is a formula one simulator - I am not very good.
When left to our own navigation, we get lost and discover new worlds of bars, theatres and shops each time.
Even very big boats move around in the wind and waves. Syl scoffed at the hand rails in the corridors on our first day - she was leaning heavily on them tonight. I’m prepared to bet that, if you get sea-sick, this is not for you. Ellen, Rich, Les - don’t even think about it.
Steaming away from each port, sipping margaritas in the lounge, is luxurious. Our dawn approaches to exquisite places like Valetta are viewed from bed.
We have two gala nights, when we are expected to dress up. Matt has brought a tie, I buy one in Marseilles. Syl has a beautiful new red velvet number from Oxford Street. We look smashing!
On the second gala night, the captain joins us in the ‘Yacht Club’ lounge. He is charming, urbane and relaxed. We pose for a photo like groupies. We all ask him questions: does the ocean ever come over the bow? (no, dis is acruisea ship anda we avoida the bada weather); do late passengers ever get left behind? (yesa, thisa happen often. We cannota hold upa the boata for the stupida fewa who do thisa); who is steering the boat now? (ha ha ha, I do nota steera da boata, dis is for the officers).
Our port visits are just that - short days to sample a city. We visit Marseille, Barcelona, Genoa, Tunis, Valetta, Messina, Civitecchia. You can join a group with a big MSC sticker on your chest, be whizzed around in an air-conditioned bus. Syl and I choose this option in Tunis, to see Carthage and the medina.
In other ports, like wonderful Malta, we took care of ourselves, walking the old city of Valetta and taking a hop-on, hop-off bus to circumnavigate the island. And on some days, Matt, Caity and Hugh simply stay on the boat, moving from movie to pool to spa to 4D simulator to pizza restaurant. We return to find them happy, lazy and relaxed.
The question is: is this heaven with a propeller, or a prison ship? We came away with mixed feelings. For Matt, Caity and Hugh - fantastico! They would do it again in a flash. For Syl and I - a great time as luxury holiday, as a week of resort life. And short snap-shots of the places we visited. But perhaps a little plastico, and the visits too short, to make this a routine way of travelling. Will we do it again? Yes, but not on the next tide.
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